TV and Film

What I took away from Week 1 of The Apprentice

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1. If you have any connection with Arsenal football club, you do not, and I repeat, you do not turn around to Lord Sugar and say they are a great club. He is a Spurs fan. #fail

2. The basics of business involves being a top salesperson. Short skirts and caked faces are not the only way to shift the stock. On the flip side, having no confidence in your product when pitching and saying ‘I wouldn’t wear it in public’ will not wow retailers either.

3. Why are there so many people not gutsy enough to put themselves forward for the project manager role?! If you sign up for The Apprentice, being scared will not get you far! These so called entrepreneurs need to stand up and take responsibility rather than shying away from driving the project. People like Robert might feel his expertise is luxurious fashion retail, but that doesn’t mean you can’t try something different. Which leads me nicely to number 4…

4. If Lord Sugar recommends you lead a project because he believes you have the right skill set, you do not bottle it. Just do it. It’s Lord Sugar for crying out loud.

5. Rookie mistake – not selling printed t-shirts that are worth more than spuds. Bad move.

6. These candidates come in with their perfect resumes boasting business set ups and nicknames like Del Boy.They say they’re gonna go for people’s backs, they can walk the walk, talk the talk and dance the dance (what the hell?) Put them in a room together and they struggle for creativity! They come up with no strategy, create teams by splitting them down the middle whilst seated and waste time mulling over a t-shirt slogan. Where has Lord Sugar got this season’s candidates from?!

7. Decadence? Decadence?! You what??????

8. Lord Sugar doesn’t care much about artsy Shoreditch. He just needs to know why guacamole was added to the hotdogs. It’s all about the hotdogs and t-shirts dude.

9. Lord Sugar knows. Oh he knows if someone didn’t pull their weight. He knows everything. Nick and Karan are his eyes and ears remember? So those candidates who have been lurking behind the people putting a shift in – he knows ok?

10. More profit, less bickering please.

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